if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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