Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize