its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
