So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
