There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
