I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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