well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
