Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
