remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
