I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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