I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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