the condom got lost in my hair
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
