Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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