I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
