I wannas sexs uuuuu
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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