that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
