i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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