People with herpes should wear stickers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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