You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
