if you like me you must not know who I am
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
