I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize