There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
