No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
