I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
