One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize