My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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