Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
