he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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