Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
