hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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