I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
