Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
