I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
