Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
