Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
