I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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