A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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