Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My balls are so social today.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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