Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
