he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
