problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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