just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
