Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
