would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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