The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
