i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
