found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
