As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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