Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
