I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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