Well douche your snatch and let's go!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
