I want to have your abortion
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize