He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize