Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
