Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
