i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
