This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize