That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
