There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
