he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
